Vanilla What?

Yesterday I had a wonderful experience at work. I was able to correctively coach someone in a very positive way. I did this in front of my fellow managers and they were very impressed. I have always felt I had skill in crafting my words when dealing out difficult information. It felt very good to get such positive feedback. It made me think about communication in general. seems like an easy enough thing to do, yet some how so many people epic fail at it daily.

I had a spat with a good friend recently. I used to talk to this person many many times each day. Every day. Then things slowed to a crawl. I realized recently he had been avoiding me all together for some time now. How did I not see it? I had been so entwined in my own affairs that I stopped listening. I became dismissive. I pushed him harder than I needed to in order to hurt myself. These are not the traits associated with a good communicator. I had literally stopped listening to him. I dismissed his chance to talk. The worst part is that I didn't even notice. Oh, but did he notice!?!

I have no trouble listening to some people. I have alot of patience in fact. I somehow fell into a slump with this friend. When I took a look at why I realized I was frustrated. I expected him to have more power than he turned out to be presenting to me. If I had taken the time to hear what he had to say I would have known he did have the power I expected, but that he was using me as a sounding board.

I know this seems simple and logical, but I learned a bit about myself. Like so many other people in the world I have a habit of waiting for my turn to talk, half processing what others are saying. I am challenging myself to stop that behavior. I plan to take the steps to fully absorb the information the people around me are throwing out into the world. I am also going to challenge myself to better control the information I throw back out there. Is there anyone out there willing to take on the same challenge? How different would a conversation be if instead of cocking back the next thing to interject, you sat back and sponged up every morsel of knowledge being passed your way? I shall let you know soon guys!

(this story takes place 2012)