My Mentor

mentor n. A wise and trusted counselor or teacher

Whether we notice it or not almost everyone has a mentor. That person the helps shepard you through the learning that takes you to the next level in your life. This could be at work, in your education, or in your personal life. Sometimes it over laps.

I met my mentor at work, but the scope of change she influenced crossed over into many avenues of my life and still resonates strongly today. It was 6 years ago. I applied for a job. She was the store manager at the location I applied for. I got the job and Courtney became my boss.

My first impression of Courtney was strength. Like me she was a big and tall girl, strawberry blond curls and a commanding look of power. She had the strength of a lion. I was never sure if she intimidated people on purpose or if it was simply a by-product of the power she had. When Courtney entered a space she commanded the room.

When I started working for her I was barely figuring out what kind of adult I was going to be. I had always been an  over weight tom girl. I suffered from depression and low self esteem. I have always been smart and had wanted to move into management in the last company I had worked for, but the opportunity never came. Even though I was terrified on the inside I had decided I was going to take over my own destiny and make myself into a manager at this new job. How could they say no to someone who already knew how to do the job?

I worked very hard and learned as much as I could. Every 6 months I moved up a step. I went from customer service representative to shift leader to assistant manager. I was learning how to lead. I was learning how to sell. So much more was going on under the surface. I was not in the least bit aware of it at the time.

Seeing the way Courtney could command a room sent chills down my spine. How did she get to be so confident? I also started to notice the way her clothes fit her. She did not hide from the world inside her clothes like I did. I started to branch out from my usual t-shirt and jeans style. I bought "girl clothes". Little by little I started to change the way I wore my hair from being in tight pony tails or buns to down and long. I was not copying Courtney, but I was learning that it was okay to be attractive and be overweight.

I had been over weight my entire life. I wore clothes many sizes too big. I was literally hiding. I saw large women out there squeezing themselves into outfits meant for smaller people. They were seemingly oblivious to their actual size. I didn't want to be the kind of girl whose rolls hung to the floor. I didn't want my cottage cheese thighs peeking out, or my ass crack saying hello to the world. I didn't like being fat, but I took ownership of my size and have always refused to degrade myself by trying to squeeze into a smaller wardrobe. Also most fat people fashion is gross, or was anyway. Tapered jeans? really? Big giant tents of dresses? Like if you wanted to wear "normal" people clothes you HAD to suck it up, lay down to button your pants and hope to god you don't pop a button, or bust a seam in public.

But not Courtney. She owned her size and commanded it. I watched closely to the way she interacted with people. I listened to the words she chose to use. I started to see how much power came from your word choices. Communication is a choice. Every word has power. The way you string them together changes the way your words are percieved. Knowing which words to chose is power.

She passed on a keen business sense, how to interpret peoples behavior by instinct, how to drive performance. She showed me that having a high standard was the only way to succeed, but that obtaining that standard took compromise and hard work. I learned so many things that to this day I can not put into words. She made me the manager I am. She helped make me the woman I am. Together we coined the phrase "Feel free to be awesome", which represents me on a deep level.

As time passed I was promoted to be Courtney's peer. I have developed a friendship and a respect for her that will last a lifetime. I am who I am today because of the time I spent working for her, but more specifically, the time she spent developing me. She believed in me. She saw I had value and she leveraged it.

Empowering those around us can have a lasting effect. I Challenge everyone to reach out and be the example for someone in your life. Help someone grow into their own skin. It is a bond that can not be broken!

(This story took place in 2006)