A workaholic is a person who is addicted to work. The term generally implies that the person enjoys their work; it can also imply that they simply feel compelled to do it.

Folks... I was a workaholic. Sometimes I think about it and wonder if the old thinking about an alcoholic holds true here... once a holic always a recovering holic.... no matter what the holic was into...

I don't think I believe that at all. I used to pour my life into work. I did it without knowing I had done it. I missed out on a few years of my kids life, and of my own life for that matter. I pushed for the things I thought could make my life and my family's life better. I worked for promotion. I worked to be the best. I wanted...everything.

That's not my life anymore. I have a new job, that strangely enough, doesn't function in a way conducive to me being a workaholic. This was hard. Especially in the beginning. I had so much free time. Time to think about all of the things I forgot. Time to dwell on the things that caused me fear and anxiety. Oh goodness did I dwell.

I slipped down a slippery slope of confused depression. It was confusing because for the first time in my life I had nothing to be depressed about. One by one I started working through my issues. I am still a work in progress, but I have managed to let go of a lot of my fear and my anger. Some sadness still lingers and I am starting to feel the sting of a few regrets, but its nothing I can't handle.

Now I have a new task... I have to figure out how to live my life as a non-workaholic. Its not as easy as you might think. Before I slipped into work till you drop mode I was a young pre-professional living childless with my boyfriend. I am now a two time mom with a divorce on the way. I am figuring out how to have friends, do you have any idea how much work those take? I am figuring out how to juggle me time and kid time. I am trying to spend as much time enriching my children's lives as possible, while still allowing them the space to be individuals, all while living around my Ex. Lets not forget that while I may not be addicted, I do still work 50 hours a week in management.

My oldest daughter is going to start first grade in a few days. It blows my freaking mind! Where did my little baby go? We spent the summer having some splendid adventures. Now the time has come to settle in to a routine. What should that routine look like?

Should is such a relative term isn't it? I mean what I believe and what you believe can be so different. So I am going to just tell you what I have decided to do...

I bought a planner. It is super cute, in case you wondered. In it I have written all of my paydays as well as Andrews. It also had bill due dates, birthdays, my work schedule, Andrew's work schedule, and any other events I see worth noting. I figured the first step it to get organized. There is no routine if you don't know what is going to happen next.

Then I looked into the community to see what is out there. I took a lot of notes and I started a conversation with the kids. I wanted to know what THEY are interested in. I learned a lot about my girls actually.

So when all was said and done I decided to enroll them in some classes at the local kid club. My youngest is going to take little leapers ballet. I am so excited to see her in a tiny tutu! My oldest is going to take dance one day a week and take cheerleading a different day. This is awesome because the two really are related in so many ways. I have also agreed to sign my oldest up in girl scouts. This is the most exciting thing of all. She is so stoked. I have applied to volunteer with them, we shall see if that goes anywhere. I will also sign up for PTA this year and as a volunteer for the school. I will be an active face in her educational life going forward.

In addition to the formal classes and activities, there are informal adventures I want to take the kids on. I plan to do at least one adventure a week. This is of course as long as the kids are good, and funding is available. Next week we have a couple activities planned. We will be going to the Oregon Coast Aquarium the day before school starts, then later in the week after school I plan to take Skyliana to the Portland Art Museum. The following week the circus is in town!

So to answer my own question... life after being a workaholic is going to be more hectic than life as a workaholic was... but at the end of the day I will feel better about my self, my kids will feel better about the mom they have in their lives, and there will be adventure! I will not miss out any longer.

Its not all about the kids either. I have strategically worked in some time for me too. I plan to get back into school. I will be attending live theatre. I am going to take swing dance lessons, pretty much I am going to do the things I have wanted to do, but never allowed myself to do. Oh the biggest news is that I plan to complete the Vancouver marathon next year. I will likely be walking in it, but I will finish! I am going to keep myself so busy that I forget to try to find myself and instead I will lose myself in the wonders of my own journey.

That is what an ex workaholic does to heal... or at least this ex workaholic!

(This story takes place in 2012)